New Toejam & Earl game in development! Kickstarter project needs your help!

Bring back the funk!

Whatup Yo? Erm...? Well, I was going to start with an amusing string of 'urban slang' as part of an introduction to this piece, but I suddenly realised how uncool I am and that I would end up sounding like Jessie from Breaking Bad ("Gatorade me, bitch!"). Anyway, gamers from the 16-bit era will know all about Toejam & Earl! Released on the Sega Mega Drive way back in 1991, this funky, exploration game was a breath of fresh air in a world populated by platformers and fighting games. A roguelike at heart, TJ&E tasked you with wandering around the cartoon landscape attempting to find pieces of your broken space ship whilst avoiding a selection of some of the most bizarre enemies ever seen in a videogame - rogue dentists, possessed mailboxes, giant hamster wheels and stampeding nerds to name but a few. Adding to the madness were unopened presents which, when opened, could grant you useful items such as speed-giving super hi-tops, extra health, icarus wings, or money. They could, unfortunately also contain deadly items such as enemies, rain clouds that would follow you, zapping you with lightning, or even instant death. The random nature of these presents, along with the randomised levels and ship piece placement resulted in a game with plenty of replay value. The two player split screen - which allowed both players to wander off and do their own thing - sealed the deal and Toejam & Earl went on to become a cult hit. 

Wolfenstein 3D demo ROM released for Sega Mega Drive

Great news for both retro console gamers and fans of the original first person shooter Wolfenstein 3D as it has finally found its way onto the Sega Mega Drive. Back in 1994, the Super Nintendo was lucky enough to get a port of Id Software's ground breaking title, but it was a heavily censored and very feeble looking port that wasn't a patch on the PC original. Still, it played well enough and was extremely popular. Now Mega Drive owners can finally get some payback as this unofficial port by Gasega68k blows the SNES version out of the water. It features a far less pixellated look that is much closer to the PC version, and the scrolling is incredibly smooth for the 16-bit system. Indeed, the whole affair is incredibly impressive, with 6-button controller support, digitised speech, the ability to save your game and graphical filters to further enhance the look of the game - though these, naturally, would only work on an emulator. 

Retro & Indie Christmas Gaming

Retro & Indie Christmas Gaming 

So, Christmas is upon us. Where on Earth did the time go? It feels like yesterday that I was playtesting a plethora of jaunty Christmas games in order to prepare an in-depth article showcasing the most enjoyable festive treats for indie and retro gamers. Now one year later, I have been genuinely surprised by the utter lack of anything new to play. 

Retro Review - Dashin' Desperados (Mega Drive / Genesis)

Three's a crowd

Dashin' Desperados is a peculiar game indeed. Essentially an on-foot platform racing game, you are put in the boots of a cowboy named Will who must race against a rival gunslinger who goes by the name of Rick. The point of this competitive racing? Why, to get laid of course - what greater accomplishment could there be? For waiting at the end of each course is a slut named Jenny. I have deemed her to be a slut due to the fact that she doesn't seem to care who wins the race and will happily make out with the victor. She also starts each race by beckoning the two cowboys with a sultry "come on", while showing off her cleavage in a low cut dress. I think she just wants a threesome, but is hoping the two guys take the initiative.

REVIEW SPECIAL - Road Rash Series 1991 - 2003

REVIEW SPECIAL - ROAD RASH series

I have always had a love-hate relationship with the Road Rash series. From the moment I was first wowed by the motorbike racing game on the Mega Drive way back in 1991, to right now, mere moments after an extended playing session incorporating multiple iterations on different platforms, I have found it a frustrating, yet addictive, experience. The series focuses on a motley bunch of oddballs, outlaws and degenerates as they participate in illegal motorbike races across California to earn cash and have the kind of fun that can only be achieved by breaking the law and the bones of your opponents. You qualify each race by placing 3rd or higher, and money earned can be used to upgrade your existing ride or purchase new bikes.

Retro Game Music Quiz (Android)

Test your knowledge of retro gaming tunes!

Here's a quick little time waster that will put your memory of retro game music to the test. Retro Game Music Quiz is a free App, available from the Google Play Store, that tasks you with correctly guessing (well, remembering really) the title of 8-bit and 16-bit games from listening to a very short snippet of the game in question's soundtrack.

REVIEW - Castle Of Illusion starring Mickey Mouse (PS3)

16-bit Magic for 2013

Nostalgia is big business these days. We have seen many HD re-imaginings of fondly remembered games of yesteryear hit the modern platforms in recent years, from Spelunker HD and Elevator Action Deluxe, to the more recent Superfrog HD, the excellent (albeit, flawed) DuckTales Remastered and the disappointing Flashback HD, now it is the turn of sublime Mega Drive title Castle of Illusion. The original game from 1990 was a cutesy platformer that was a runaway success due to its gorgeous cartoon visuals, catchy music and well designed levels that saw you navigating a library, forest and worlds made of sweets and toys. It was excellent, deserving all the praise and attention it received and it still holds up well today. Now 23 years later Sega have seen fit to produce a modern reboot, but can a simple cartoon platformer hold its own in this day and age, especially with competition from original titles like Rayman Legends?

TOP 10 - 2-Player Retro Games To Play With Your Partner

It Takes Two...

I have been lucky enough to have been blessed with a wonderful girlfriend who is also a gamer. Though, obviously, not the borderline obsessive retro gamer I am proud to be, she appreciates games no matter their age or graphics, and enjoys watching me play story driven titles as much as playing the fun 2-player games alongside (or against) me.

Over the years we have played many titles, both old and new, some of which we played through to the end, others just for short bursts. While many games have kept us entertained, the following 10 games are the ones we have enjoyed the most, and the ones I would recommend to anyone else out there who wishes to enjoy retro gaming with their better half.

TOP 10 - Best Looking Games Consoles

Throughout videogame history there have been a ludicrous amount of machines released - many of which have had numerous different cosmetic revisions over their lifespan. These machines have come in all shapes and sizes - from hulking behemoths that resemble something seen on a 1960's Russian Submarine, to sleek pieces of technology that are so small you could easily lose them down the back of the sofa. We have seen consoles decked in faux-wood panelling, and ones with hardwired controllers with leads so short that the user had to have the damn thing on their lap. Some manufacturers have nailed the design of a console first time around, while others have released revised versions after listening to consumers complaints (or maybe after sobering up in some cases). 

Retro Game - Dick Tracy (Mega Drive / Genesis)

Return of the Mac

Dick Tracy has to be one of the shittest names for a comic book hero I have ever heard. Seriously! Not only does he have a shocking name, but he also wears a bright yellow mac and hat. I guess tastes were very different back in the 1930's when Tracy first made it onto comic book stands. His popularity has obviously lasted over many decades however, as he has received video game adaptations on every system you can think of – from the 8-bit home micros, consoles and handhelds, to the 16-bit generation (Mega Drive and Amiga), as well as the PC and even mobile devices. The adaptation I enjoyed the most (I still have nightmares about the heinous NES version) is the Sega Mega Drive version from 1990.

Obscure Retro Gem - Haunting featuring Polterguy (Mega Drive / Genesis)

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.. er.. wait a minute!

I am certain that being dead sucks, although we cannot really ask any deceased individuals to verify this. You could always speak to a medium, but as anyone with a working brain knows, these people are human parasites that manipulate grieving relatives for financial reward, so best to ignore them completely. The classic 1980's Tim Burton movie, Beetlejuice showed a recently expired couple wreaking havoc on a nasty family who had moved into their dream home, and their antics looked surprising enjoyable. So maybe the afterlife isn't all bad. Electronic Arts certainly thought so, as their 1993 Sega Mega Drive game, Haunting (featuring Polterguy) completely nicks the plot from that movie, switching the dead newly-weds for a teenage skate punk.

RETRON 5 - Multi-format retro games console - coming soon!

I am sure most of you are aware of these strange retro consoles that keep appearing year after year. Ugly, cheap looking machines with crappy controllers, and emulation that is usually mediocre at best. I have played on several of these machines over the years and I have to say that they are universally awful. I can only assume they are aimed at the very casual retro gamers who won't notice sound issues, graphical abnormalities or other failings that separate these emulator based machines from their genuine counterparts.

Obscure Retro Gems - Wani Wani World (Mega Drive / Genesis)

Stop! Hammer Time!

Apart from the wonderful Bubble Bobble, single screen platformers have never really been my thing - I have always preferred my 2D running and jumping antics to be of the scrolling variety. Bubble Bobble is one of the first arcade games I ever played, so will be forever etched into my memories as a stone cold classic. The imitators that followed, namely titles such as; Parasol Stars, Snow Bros, Rodland, Don Doko Don, Joe & Mac Returns, Tumble Pop and even the ludicrous Super Methane Bros didn't really do anything for me as they failed to improve on the bubble blowing dragons' adventures. But occasionally one will come along that I really enjoy, Penguin Brothers, an arcade game from 2000 was one, and Wani Wani World on the Mega Drive is another.

Classic Game - Flicky (Mega Drive / Genesis)

Come with me if you want to live!

Flicky is a Sega Mega Drive game that often receives a lot of flack from gamers. People moan about it appearing on multiple Mega Drive compilations, as if it doesn't deserve its position on the roster, which is a little unfair. Maybe it's because these compilations are often missing many favoured titles – mostly due to licensing issues – or maybe it is because the game looks so dated when viewed alongside games such as Commix Zone or Ristar. But underneath the dated visuals and simplistic arcade gameplay lies an exciting and addictive game that deserves far more praise than it generally receives.

Classic Game - Quackshot (Mega Drive / Genesis)

The 16-bit consoles introduced some of the best 2D platformers the world had ever seen, many of which, over 20 years later, are still the greatest examples the genre has to offer. Many of the most fondly remembered titles were based on popular Disney characters and movies, and Sega's Mega Drive console fared especially well in this respect. While the SNES had many of the same titles (Jungle Book, The Lion King, Mickey Mania), and even its own excellent exclusives (Mickey's Magical Quest), Sega's machine won by a narrow margin by having a far superior version of Aladdin (by the creators of Earthworm Jim), and the trio of jewels in the crown; Castle of Illusion, Quackshot, and World of Illusion. While I adore the squeaky rodent's adventures (despite having a dislike for Mickey himself), for me, Donald's globe-trotting quest is the best of the bunch.

CHRISTMAS GAMES - Festive Retro Goodness!

Christmas is here, and what better way to celebrate Santa's birthday than to fire up some festive retro gaming goodies! The 'Christmas game' was a popular gimmick in the 8-bit and 16-bit home computer days. Games were cheap to produce and to purchase, so developers could create a quick Christmas game on a small budget and release it at a low enough price for parents to buy for their kids as a stocking filler. There was also the free cover tape given away with the computer magazines at the time. The December issue of a games publication was the perfect place for Christmas games, and well known developers such as Team 17 and Sensible Software produced short, seasonal versions of their hit games for these give-aways. The ZX Spectrum had an excellent Monty Mole game called Moley Christmas, given away with the December 1987 issue of Your Sinclair. The Commodore 64 also got in the holiday spirit, with one memorable title being Frosty The Snowman, given away on the front of Your Commodore magazine in 1990. The Amiga was also home to a wealth of Yuletide treats, with Christmas versions of Cannon Fodder, Lemmings, ATR : All Terrain Racing, and Fire N Ice all gracing cover disks over the years. PC users were not left in the dark either, with an enjoyable Xmas edition of Jetpack, and some frantic platform action in the form of, not one, but three, Jazz Jackrabbit Christmas specials.

REVIEW - Sega Vintage Collection : Toejam & Earl (XBLA)

Toejam & Earl is the funkadelic alien collect-em-up that first graced our screens way back in 1991 on Sega's Mega Drive console. It suffered low sales but gained universally positive reviews as well as a loyal following and cult status, Sega even using the duo as mascots for a short period.

The game put you in the sneakers of two alien rappers, Toejam, a tri-legged red dude with huge medallion and backwards cap, and Big Earl, a plump orange playa in wrap around shades and Bermuda shorts. These two hipsters are travelling back to their home planet Funkotron when, due to Big Earl's reckless driving, they collide with a meteorite, hurling them towards the nearest planet, Earth. The resulting crash smashes their ship into 10 pieces that are scattered across the globe, and in order to get home they (yup, you guessed it) must collect all 10 pieces. The game is set in a 2D top down viewpoint, and has often been described as a Roguelike. Indeed, strip away the green islands, space setting, wacky characters and cartoony visuals, replace it with dungeons and suitable adversaries and you would have a standard dungeon crawler on your hands. You have randomly generated levels and power up locations, unknown objects that have to be identifed or used at your peril, and the ultimate goal being to simply survive and reach the end.